A few (14) months ago, Carlsee Press released a statement entitled (in capital letters) “NOTICE”. Since statements entitled (in capital letters) “NOTICE” are generally Noticed, there was much consternation when the statement proved to be misleading. Looking over the pile of letters on my desk, I am of the opinion that several readers Noticed, and quite noticeably too. Thus, it was the duty of Carlsee Press (mostly meaning Me, as I was the only one important enough to be blamed) to release a similar statement, inventively titled, that would explain our admittedly interminable lack of articles for a fortmonth. The aforementioned vase1 might or might not have been shattered sometime this year, but I can assure any concerned readers that all physical expressions of anger were mild.
Anyway2, our next article was delayed by a rather inconvenient invasion from another country3. I was elsewhere at the time, having some business in the Northern Kingdom (I have several professions beside Chief Editor), and did not learn of events until a month later, when I was nearly finish. In my haste to return (and avoidance of several assassination attempts) I must admit I quite forgot about Carlsee Press. Upon my arrival, I helped to strategize a successful counterattack, and was involved in the retaking of Castellium. The invasion being thwarted, I suddenly remembered my other profession and most certainly did NOT panic, but rather was afflicted with an unexpected series of emotions superficially resembling that state. (The incident with the vase might or might not have occurred simultaneously.) It was not consoling to learn that Carlsee Press had burned down during the counterattack, but I recovered from the stroke quickly. Afterward, reconstruction commenced immediately, and the staff, thankfully unscathed by the fire, were rehired.
So the current state of Carlsee Press is as follows: the building has been restored, but all our former articles are Presumed Burned, so several have been commissioned or rewritten, including the rest of the “Authors on my Bookshelves” series, a few other miscellaneous essays, and a prospective new series. The intention is to publish each article on the second Tuesday of each month, along with a new quote. We greatly apologize for the inconvenience of the last few (14) months, but hope that the quality and quantity of our coming articles will more than make up for it. Until then4.
~J. W. C, Editor.
1See our previous statement, “NOTICE.”—Jayson Carlsee, Editor.
2I need to hire a different editor. “Anyway” is an atrocious word with which to begin a paragraph.—Jayson Carlsee, Editor.
3I was requested to keep the majority of details secret; however I think it safe to hint a certain member of the House of Regnant was involved.—Jayson Carlsee, Editor.
4This is known as a sentence fragment and is considered a gross error among most authorities.—Jayson Carlsee, Editor.
Carlsee Press 
Dear Editor,
Receiving your work in my inbox once more was both exciting and refreshing! Your explanation for the lack of publications is in itself a thoroughly delightful publication, which it prompts me to ask whether you would consider publishing episodes from your memoirs (that is, if you keep memoirs, and if your adventures are of a nature that are not Top Secret).
I admit I do find myself wondering what sort of emotions superficially resemble panic and whether the vase can be mended, but such questions are of little consequence when compared to the other events you described. So, without further ado — hoorah, and congratulations on the retaking of Castellium!! I’m looking forward to your future publications, and am curious about this prospective new series.
Your very enthusiastic reader,
Miriam
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Dear Miriam,
Thank you for your interest! Serialized memoirs such as the one you proposed have certainly been considered, but regrettably most contain state secrets and would be illegal to publish. However, since The Reading Public (as represented by yourself) demands it, I will do my utmost to convince certain authorities (and my friends who unreasonably claim that writing about myself is a bad idea) to authorize the series. Many thanks for your enthusiasm!
-The Editor.
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